We know of a sixth grade teacher who announced to a group of aghast parents on Open House Night, “This is a good year for your child to fail.”  You could hear the jaws drop.  Most of the parents didn’t think that any year was a particularly good year for their child to fail.  Now, I think I know what this excellent teacher meant.  His point was that most kids who are left to sink or swim will sink once and vow that it will never happen again, and that middle school was a good time for that to happen—before it shows up on their college record.  Indeed, most kids do learn by sink or swim when it comes to organization—except for those whose brain can’t help but sink when left without a life jacket.

My suggestion is to be the child’s safety net.  Monitor the child’s progress while standing by closely in the background. If the child does the needed task (e.g., puts her homework in the homework folder), there is no harm to the child’s learning curve that you double-checked.  On the occasional time that the child forgets to do the needed task, then fortunately, you are there to be their safety net and provide a softer landing for the child’s poor executive skills. It’s not fair that the child fail math simply because he is disorganized.

Safety nets are how they do it in the Olympics. The spotter steps in to monitor the athlete’s dangerous maneuvers, and no one accuses the spotter of interfering with the athlete’s need to take her own skills seriously. Most of the time, the spotter is not needed; but when they are needed, thankfully they are there.  Be your child’s safety net. Allowing severe failure does not teach skills.

When your child has some difficulty understanding a concept  or a topic in one of her classes, try explaining the subject by drawing pictures.  For the visual child, drawing pictures while taking notes can be a useful study skills tool. The spatial child will also benefit from this technique.

Just finished a session with one of my clients, whom I might add is becoming much more organized these days.  HE seems to have some difficulty branistorming ideas for essays in his English class.  Naturally, we discussed different strategies for writing essays and brainstorming.  When I mentioned that he should try using a graphic organizer, HE showed me a website that offers a free 30 day trial of graphic organizers for elementary age to adults.  Inspiration.com ( kudos to the person who thought of that title) offers fantastic and user friendly graphic organizers for even the most technologicaly challenged student.  I recommend checking it out....let me know what you think.

Many people view discipline as a negative, somewhat of an exhausting aspect of parenting. The child, who either throws a temper tantrum in the store, cannot share toys at a playdate, nor doesn’t follow rules at home can be VERY challenging for any parent. There are many parents who feel overwhelmed with their children misbehavior and lack of self control. I would say that one of the reasons for the popularity of the television shows, Nanny 911 and SuperNanny, is that so many parents can relate to the stories on the show.

There is an interesting article in Parenting magazine that discusses discipling children. It offers useful tips and straight forward tactics for parents to utilize when trying to set boundaries for their kids.

Remember, children will be more willing participants if they feel empowered. As mentioned in the article above, give your child some choices instead of giving them direct commands. Instead of telling them to clean their room now, give them some options. Would they like to clean their room now or after lunch. The goal of cleaning the room will be accomplished and giving your child the choice of WHEN they will clean it will make them feel more of an active participant in making decisions in the family

Since I work with many school age children, the conversation will always come up about peers and how cruel they can be towards each other.  Momlogic Vivian wrote an excellent article for Momlogic.com on "Why Good Kids Act Cruel"  A MUST read for any and all parents.

We all know one, or at least have heard of one....those kids who are always engaging in risky behavior. They're the kids who set up high bike jumps on the street, hang onto a moving car while on their skateboard, or just have the reputation of being the neighborhood daredevil.  Unfortunately, this risky behavior can also include drug and alcohol use. 

I was surfing the web, looking for some information about the relationship between the risky behavior and children.  Even if your child is NOT ADHD, this article is informative and gives an easy explaination about the subject.

Even though your child may not have ADHD, the Additude magazine is a great recource for strategies, tools, and items to help your child become more organized in school and home.  Check out this article about getting your child to remember to turn in assignments.

Many students in the northeast will have their mid winter recess in the near future.  It’s been my experience that many students seem to fall through the cracks so to say, from February to Spring Break.  What causes it….let’s look at some possible reasons

1. Third quarter starts at the end of January.  The school work is more demanding with increased amount of projects, assignments and homework.

2.  If students haven’t developed study strategies, time management skills, and test taking skills, the increased work will present as a terrific challenge.

3.  Students are coming off Christmas vacation and heading into February’s winter recess for the northeast schools.  For some students, they’re just counting the days until they have off again.

4. Don’t forget about midterms.  They’re thrown into this mix during the end of January, beginning of February.  Students are emotionally and intellectually “fried” after this week.  Some students take a mental “vacation” from school work.

How to help you child stay on task

Remember that your child’s frontal lobes do not fully develop until she/he reaches the mid 20’s.  And that means what?  Well, you will have to loan your lobes to them.  The executive functioning that is housed in the lobes may need a boost from you.  I’ve listed a few brief strategies for parents helping their children through this journey:

1.  Contact teachers to see if your child is on task.  Any missing homework, projects, assignments?  Any unusual grades on exam or tests? Let them know that you would like to be contacted if there is any missing work from your child.

2. If you find that your child is procrastinating, he may be feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work.  Develop a time management plan with your child.  Keep in mind that your child may have a different organizing style than you.  It would be in your best interest to determine your child’s ”style” before constructing this plan.

3.  Check the website.  Some teachers are fantastic about posting the school work on the school website.  You can keep track of your child’s assignments instead of hounding your child for information. 

4.  Have a conversation with your child about the benefits of staying on track.  You might have to help them with the foresight and hindsight aspects of this conversation.  For example, “ Remember when you left your project to the last minute? You had to stay in the entire weekend to finish it.” Or “If you plan ahead, you can have the homework completed to be able to go to the movies with your friends.”

 Keeping your child on the track will result in a successful year.  You child’s confidence will increase and your blood pressure will remain at a normal level .