Anyone who's ever attended an all-girls school, lunched regularly with a group of women, or had at least one female friend is familiar a woman's capacity to be ruthless, obsessively confident, and just plain jerky. However, it is the case that a large population of the female workforce seems reluctant to tap into this side of their personalities because when a women exhibits these traits in the workplace, she's often labeled a 'bitch,' whereas her male counterparts are seen as confident go-getters. We celebrate cuthroat-edness in men, yet we, as a society, even now, still tend to condemn women for being arrogant, pushy, and unrelentingly self-assured. I absolutely agree with Clay that it is the unfortunate case that many women (certainly not all of us) simply are unwilling to be aggressive or, as Debbie said, 'fearless.' That's why we have to continue to celebrate and encourage the young women around us; we have to instill in them the belief that many men have been breed with for centuries, that success is their right.

Absolute truth… I once encouraged my newly CPA'd wife to take acting classes to learn how to bullshit, act confident when not feelin' it and generally be “out there” when she was anxious or intimidated by the then Big Eight accounting firms stallions… (big eight are now the big four, I think)!

Being a boy, you learn early it's 90% bluff anyway!

And, I have to say, her female bosses weren't eager to pull a “sister” up either! Hell, they didn't want to lose someone who made them look good anymore than a man would. When I look back on it, men were more likely to mentor her than the more *enlightened feminists* of the time.

Haste yee back

@ Lionel Valdellen I think it has a lot to do with your role models too. I am the mother of a daughter (and a son) and I see that girls behave the way they see their mother's behaving. Also, I was fortunate enough to choose strong women role models from a young age (and my mother is VERY confident, strong, and “entitled,” which I'm sure impacted me).

Role models, yes. So true.
Show me who your heroes/idols/faves/influences are, and I'll see what kind of person you are.

My initial reaction was some serious hate vibes going out to Sir Shirky. I cannot STAND when people (especially men) say that women don’t “have what it takes” to do anything. Then I get all riled up and annoyed and then completely fail at articulating my riled up annoyance. Except I usually don’t surround myself with “weak” women and I’ve never been a boss so it’s entirely possible I’m missing out on this apparent weakness of my sex.

However, I have met plenty of arrogant women and they’re just as annoying as arrogant men. But I agree with Lionel in that it’s definitely learned – but that’s what sociology is, isn’t it? And as for Debbie’s comment, thanks for the love

At the end of the day though, Shirky just made it worse by pointing out that women can’t possibly be as arrogant as men. And why does that feel like an insult?

@Joanne I agree.

My friend Lois Kelly had linked to this post too. I think women and men can embrace their power without behaving like arrogant self-aggrandizing jerks. That behavior is not so much related to gender as it is to deciding whether you're going to try to operate as authentically as you can in the world, while at the same time realizing that as you accomplish more, there is more for you to be proud of.

You can engender, empower, inspire folks by embracing the idea that it is always your option to behave this way, but does it really elevate anyone?

It's not about women, it's about how much further we can all move away from society defining that the only way to get ahead is to be a “self-aggrandizing jerk” in the business world or otherwise and that only by embracing a stereotype will we be successful! I don't think that's true and I won't pass on that idea to my daughter or my son.

You'll notice that both your grocery bill and snacking habits will start decreasing. If the foods aren't there, you can't eat them!